Paraphrasing Mishaps

Source:

Solomon, Andrew. “What Happens When You’re Disabled but Nobody Can Tell.” The New York Times. 10 July 2020. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/10/style/invisible-disabilities.html

Original Passage:

The word “disability” evokes images of ramps, lower-positioned urinals, grab bars and other allowances in our architectural landscape. But an untold number of people have disabilities — from A.D.H.D. to addictive disorder to lupus — that aren’t necessarily helped by a designated parking spot. A person who walks with a limp but uses no physical support may be jostled on the street like anyone else. An autistic person, or a person with a mental illness, will often be disdained or even assailed for peculiar or antisocial behavior. Invisible disabilities can be easier in some ways than physically evident ones, but they can, equally, be more difficult. They have the advantages and disadvantages of secrecy.

Incorrect:

The idea of disability makes us think of ramps, lower-positioned urinals, grab bars and other architectural allowances. But an uncounted number of people have disabilities such as A.D.H.D., addiction, or lupus that aren’t helped by a closer parking spot. Someone who walks with a limp but doesn’t use a cane could still be jostled on the street. Someone with autism or mental illness could be disdained or attacked for strange or antisocial behavior. These invisible disabilities might seem easier than physically obvious ones, but they can also be harder. Having a secret disability comes with both advantages and disadvantages (Solomon).

This version is incorrect for two reasons: 1) The wording is too close to the original source, and 2) There is no in-text citation until the last sentence.

Correct:

Andrew Solomon writes about the misunderstood phenomenon of invisible disabilities. We think of disabilities as physical disorders that can be addressed with accommodations such as ramps that have become commonplace, but those accessibility measures don’t help all disabled people. While something like mental illness might seem less debilitating than a physical disability, less obvious disabilities such as autism can result in stigma when observers don’t understand why someone might not be acting in a socially acceptable manner (Solomon).

Source:

Parker, Kim, Juliana Menasce Horowitz, Rich Moran, and Mark Hugo Lopez. “Multiracial in America: Proud, Diverse and Growing in Numbers.” Pew Research Center. 11 June 2015. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2015/06/11/multiracial-in-america/

Original:

Overall, biracial adults who are both white and black are three times as likely to say they have a lot in common with people who are black than they do with whites (58% vs. 19%). They also feel more accepted by blacks than by whites (58% vs. 25% say they are accepted “very well”) and report having far more contact with their black relatives: 69% say they’ve had a lot of contact with family members who are black over the course of their lives, while just 21% report similar levels of contact with their white relatives. About four-in-ten (41%) say they have had no contact with family members who are white.

Incorrect:

Mostly, biracial people who are black and white say three times as often that they have more in common with black people than white people, and they feel more accepted by blacks than whites. 69% say they’ve had a lot of contact with black family members throughout their lives, while only 21% say they have similar contact with white relatives. Around four-in-ten say that haven’t had any contact with white family members (Parker et. al).

This version is incorrect for two reasons: 1) The wording is too close to the original source, and 2) There is no in-text citation until the last sentence.

Correct:

According to Parker et. al at the Pew Research Center, biracial adults who identify as black as well as white feel a lot more connected to the black part of their identity than to the white part. These individuals experience a greater sense of acceptance from black people than from white people and are more in touch with their black family members than their white relatives (69% versus 21%). A little over forty percent say they aren’t in touch at all with any of their white relatives (Parker et. al).

Source:

Feffer, Andrew. "Gentrification." Encyclopedia of American Urban History, edited by David Goldfield, Sage Publications, 1st edition, 2007. Credo Reference, https://libauth.tri-c.edu:2048/login?url=https://search.credoreference.com/content/entry/sageauh/gentrification/0?institutionId=4776. Accessed 24 Feb. 2023.

Original:

Recent studies based on analyses of national housing and census data, while less than conclusive, have nonetheless been touted in the press as definitive contrary evidence that the poor experience little hardship and possibly some benefits from gentrification. Surprisingly, there has been little advance in the tracking and surveying of displacees (the main weakness of the recent studies), who according to persistent qualitative evidence are forced into more expensive and remote housing or are doubling up with families and friends. And, as urbanist Peter Marcuse long ago pointed out, displacement has never simply been a matter of who leaves at that last minute before the gentrifiers move in. Rather, it is a long-term process of conversion that includes disinvestment, abandonment, demolition, and reconstruction and in which preferential housing and locational options are eventually shifted from the poor to the wealthy. That gentrifiers tend to be white, while the former occupants of gentrifying communities in many American cities have tended to be disproportionately people of color, has added a racial dimension to the class tensions emerging over the control of urban space.

Word Swap Plagiarism:

Recent studies that have analyzed national housing and census data have been hyped in the press as solid evidence that the poor experience little adversity and maybe some benefits with gentrification. There has been little done to follow displaced poor people who get forced into pricier or farther away housing or move in with families or friends. Displacement has never just been a case of who leaves right before the gentrifiers swoop in. It is a long-term process that includes withdrawing, abandoning, demolishing, and rebuilding where housing changes from poor to rich. The fact that gentrifiers are usually white, and the people who used to live in gentrified neighborhoods were people of color has contributed a racial aspect to the class strains developing over the control of cities.

The bold and underlined passages are worded too closely to the bold and underlined passages in the original source.

Proper Integration of Source Material:

Gentrification may not adversely impact the occupants of poor neighborhoods to the extent previously assumed. Occupants may decide that a home is no longer worth putting money into. In some cases, they may decide that moving out and not dealing with the home is a smarter decision. Because the residents who usually move out those areas are people of color, there is often a racial connotation attached to gentrification, whether it is deserved or not (Feffer).

Source:

Carr, Nicholas. “Is Google Making Us Stupid? -- What the Internet is Doing to our Brains.” The Atlantic. July/August 2008. Web. 18 April 2016.

1. Carr’s Original Sentence (from above article):

I feel as though I’m always dragging my wayward brain back to the text. The deep reading that used to come naturally has become a struggle.

Incorrect paraphrasing (too close to Carr’s original sentence):

In explaining the effect the Internet has had on his brain, Carr observes that the deep reading he used to do naturally has become a struggle.

Correct (Carr’s exact words are placed inside quotation marks.):

In explaining the effect the Internet has had on his brain, Carr observes that “The deep reading that used to come naturally has become a struggle.”

2. Carr’s Original Sentence (from above article):

Immersing myself in a book or a lengthy article used to be easy. My mind would get caught up in the narrative or the turns of the argument, and I’d spend hours strolling through long stretches of prose. That’s rarely the case anymore. Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages.

Incorrect (Paraphrasing is too close to Carr’s original sentence.):

Carr expresses concern over a new phenomenon he has been experiencing – an inability to spend hours strolling through long stretches of prose.

Correct (Carr’s original words are sufficiently recast in the student’s own words.):

Carr expresses concern over a new phenomenon he has been experiencing – an inability to concentrate for an extended period of time or digest an in-depth, multi-page article.

3. Carr’s Original Sentence (from above article):

And what the Net seems to be doing is chipping away my capacity for concentration and contemplation. My mind now expects to take in information the way the Net distributes it: in a swiftly moving stream of particles. Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski.

Incorrect (Paraphrasing is too close to Carr’s original sentence.):

Carr fears that the Internet appears to be chipping away his capacity for concentration and contemplation because he now reads like a guy zipping along the surface on a Jet Ski instead of a scuba diver in the sea of words.

Correct (Some of Carr’s original words are placed in quotes and others are sufficiently recast in the student’s own words.):

Carr fears that the Internet appears to be “chipping away [his] capacity for concentration and contemplation” because he has become accustomed to absorbing information quickly, in fits and spurts, without taking time to thoughtfully consider it.

4. Carr’s Original Sentence (from above article):

Thanks to the ubiquity of text on the Internet, not to mention the popularity of text-messaging on cell phones, we may well be reading more today than we did in the 1970s or 1980s, when television was our medium of choice. But it’s a different kind of reading, and behind it lies a different kind of thinking. . . . Our ability to interpret text, to make the rich mental connections that form when we read deeply and without distraction, remains largely disengaged.

Incorrect (Paraphrasing is too close to Carr’s original sentence.):

Although we might be reading more today than our parents and grandparents ever did, the nature of our reading is different which, in turn, makes our thinking different as well. We have become unable to make the rich mental connections that form when we read deeply and without distraction.

Correct (Some of Carr’s original words are sufficiently recast in the student’s own words while others are placed in direct quotes.):

Car observes that although we might be reading more today than our parents and grandparents ever did, the nature of our reading is different which, in turn, makes our thinking different as well. Carr goes on to suggest that we have become unable to make “the rich mental connections that form when we read deeply and without distraction.”